Backdrop / Paisajes

Let me paint a few colors onto the backdrop/paisajes:

In my heart and I am a writer but I have an 8-5 day job at a clinic. It’s alright.  No, no soy ni doctora ni enfermera.  That’s all I’m saying about it because at clinics, confidentiality is huge.  I have a husband who loves and supports me but I don’t mean financially.

I live in a little town that I do not love, in the country where I was born and raised. I graduated from college a long time ago and then moved to the jungle for a good while. I once thought I would go to grad school and perhaps someday I will but, honestly, if I had the money for grad school, I’d use it to leave the country again. I was happy in the jungle. Mi alma estaba en paz, una paz que ahora recuerdo pero me esquiva. Now I am simply homesick. Before any of that happened, I was a Mennonite girl on a farm in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. It is important that you know these things about me para que comprendas si me eschuchas hablar sola.

In a few months, my first real book will be released and so all around that quiet core of sadness, I am wildly delighted! I always stubbornly believed, against all evidence, that someday this would happen, and how I love it when I turn out to be right. No es todo el tiempo. I have so many thoughts, feelings, doubts and questions around releasing a book and I have recently discovered mountains of writing, days’ worth of blogged reading material, on the subject. Y la verdad es que todo me suena igual and I would rather say something original.  Tal vez me gusta ser un poco reclusa; ya me acostumbré.

Everybody says your blog posts should offer something, help somebody get what they want. Yo no tengo nada. I can only offer a window to a different world; mine. I can offer a hand you could grab onto. I can offer stories and pictures of things you might recognize as somehow almost your own. Puedo ofrecer una voz que habla, una que se puede escuchar para comprobar que no estás solo.  I can always tell the truth.

A New Stepmother Story

i want a new story
where the stepmother
is good
where the mirror
is just a mirror and
she was never all
that fair anyway

i want a story
where the little girl
falls asleep in
her arms (i can
tell you one myself)
and the brothers
grow into men who
pick her up off the floor and
twirl her in squealing circles
when she walks through
the door

i want a story
where the stepmother
sees the girl turning
into a woman and
tells her about tampons
takes her to the mall
buys her blue jeans
listens to her secrets
promises not to tell
and doesn’t

i want a new story
(may I have a fair chance?)
where a finger prick brings
band-aids and the good stepmother
herself kisses
sleeping beauty