What’s Going On

The building of the house is what’s going on.  It’s what all of you are asking me about, if we talk.  And it’s really The Main Thing, right now.   We could talk about something else, but I would be faking it.  This is what I care about.

The electricity is up and running.  The roof is on.  The plumbing is buried in the ground and next week they are going to pour the cement floor.  Then come the tiles.  And then?  Kitchen counters and windows, I think.  Toilets. 

Que Bendicion

Most people I with whom I speak about “building a house” roll their eyes, moan, and assume I am miserable.  Foreigners, obviously.  Costa Ricans say things like, “Que bendicion,” which is exactly how I feel, myself.  Que bendicion.  Gracias a Dios.  Only a fool could complain about this privilege.

I spoke with an acquaintance the other day who has a much drearier perspective on the “building a house” process.  “But don’t you find you have to go there every day or they do everything wrong?” she asked me. 

I laughed politely.  “But I love it there,” I said. “It’s my favorite place to be!”

I think this was a disappointing response because it didn’t give her a whole lot of ammunition for the next round of laments.  Everything wrong. Give me a break. Ok they forgot a door once, but, “everything?” Please.

I am much happier than it seems I am supposed to be. I love this process.  Maybe because I love the house.  I have understood that I’m expected to be tearing my hair out, but I’m not.  I love watching it take shape, one nail at a time. 

Just a Spoonful of Humble

Here’s what I think:

I think that if you pay attention in life, you can have an easier time of it.  You can have realistic expectations, which might be the number one way to experience less disappointment during your days, less frustration, and in general just suffer less. If you pay attention, you know what to expect.  And when it happens to you, you know it isn’t personal.  And you don’t have to get your panties in a twist over the pretty much inevitable. 

There have been some tough moments, as you know.  Like when Cesar, my first builder, died.  And when each of the first 3 foreman left the job.   But mostly, the process is a journey of amazement.  And if I have to go out there tomorrow and tell them that I want the lights pointing up instead of down, I will do it.  And I will be nice about it and not insult anyone, even with my tone of voice, for not having been able to read my mind.  Just a spoonful of Humble helps the medicine go down.

There’s that, too, in this equation.  You can choose to be humble.  I can.  And it honestly changes things.  For the better.  Arrogance is useless.  Even being right is only sometimes advantageous.

Heavy as Lead

The other thing we can choose is how much (and how loudly) we suffer over things.  We can’t choose The Things and we can’t choose how we feel about them or how they affect us. Initially.  But we can choose, after about 10 minutes or 12 months, how much we are going to keep suffering. 

A lot of lamentation might get you more attention/sympathy/laughs than acceptance, but it’s as heavy as lead in the blood.  And equally poisonous.

The Same Stairway

“There are spiritual levels” a wise one told me when I asked what was up with complainers in my life.  Because I have a few.  She laughed a little.  I laughed too.  We are all on the same stairway, she said, but we aren’t all on the same stair. It’s ok. Far be it from me to complain about complainers–that would be going the wrong direction on the stairway.

So far, so good.

I hope to move in August.

Inside the house, I can feel the embrace of the trees.

First evening I went to see what it looks like with the lights on inside.