I was talking on the phone to one of my sisters the other day, and she asked me perfectly normal question: “So what are your plans for the new year?”–or something like that.
For one very confusing moment, I had no idea what to say. I mean, I realize that, yes, we have turned a page on the calendar. I even made a resolution regarding how to (hopefully) be a somewhat better human being. But that’s not the same as plans.
For some reason it felt like a confession of something not very noble to say that I don’t really have any plans. But I mean that in a good way, if you get what I’m saying. An expression of contentment. I have nothing to fix because nothing is broken.
Is that terrible? I know in my heart that it isn’t, but it’s a 1st World cultural thing: you need goals. You need plans. If you aren’t going somewhere–well. How dare you? Let me clarify: this is NOT said sister’s attitude, nor is it the spirit in which she asked the question. We were just chatting. And then I got to… hablando sola.
When I sit down and make a list of what I actually plan to do this year, this is what I come up with:
–In 2017, I plan to wake up every morning. Early. Early enough to see the big dipper on the horizon in the south, then watch the sky fade from black to gray to blue. Roosters, then monkeys, then parakeets.
–I plan to drink hot coffee in the mornings. A glass of red wine in the evening. In between, plenty of water. I fully intend to eat far more plants than animals, and that most of the animals will be fish.
–I plan to surf as often and as well as I possibly can. It won’t be as often or as well as my heart asks, but I plan to be ok with that. I know my options. For five cold years I couldn’t surf, ever.
–In 2017, I plan to feed my cats twice a day. Religiously. And pet them and pester them and sing them silly songs.
–I intend to go to work 5 days a week, and remember that this alone makes me lucky.
–I plan to be a good wife.
–I plan to visit my granddaughter. She isn’t my biological granddaughter, obviously, because her mama wasn’t my baby, but I prefer to define things by what they are, not by what they are not. She will learn to sit and crawl and probably walk. I have no plans of being a stranger.
–I plan to look at the sky every night. Search for certain stars or watch the moon. On dry nights I may lie for a while on my back on the ground under the sky. Me and the Milky Way. Because I can.
–I have a hammock, now, and I intend to use it.
–In 2017, I plan to turn 47. I feel fine about that. Next year I plan to turn 48, and I’m not afraid to say it.
–I plan to pay attention to poems, to dreams, to wind direction. If I can get those things right, the rest will follow.
These are my ambitions. My goal is to be warm. My plan is to be content. On both counts, I am fully self-confident.